Worlds Colliding!

Wow... where in the world do I start on this one??? Woah!

So a couple months ago I met a gentleman. He is hawt! He is a great guy and I enjoy his friendship. Really it's friendship with attraction at this point, I mean come on I have only known the crazy (in a good way) guy for a couple months. Well shortly after I we met and started dating I asked him to be my real estate agent since that is what he does for a living and I could tell he is an honest man. He agreed, and the house hunting began, and the dating continued.

Now I have found a house at a great price but it needs work. Luckily I have the most handy daddy around and he is just a shourt 4 hour drive away so he is coming to look at the work that needs to be done on the house before I choose to go any further with this venture.

Growing up my dad lived in Colorado and I lived in Arizona... he never met any of my dates or the guys I dated. EVER! I just always figured that he would meet the one man that I would marry, if I ever decided to actually think about considering marriage... that's another soap box which I will leave for now.

Tomorrow my daddy and I are going to meet my real estate agent to look at this house... My dad is about to meet a guy I am dating for the first time in my life. He has already informed me that he will be giving Red Hawt the third degree. I am so not loving this! UGH! I think I may need a xanax!!!!

Holy DUMP! I am a little bit on the freaking out side... *sighs*

Brain Waves

May 2007 - I was diagnosed with 2 seizure disorders, Complex Partial Seizure Disorder and Simple Partial Seizure disorder. Or as I refer to it "Complex Simple Seizure Disorder" since things in my life consistently contradict themselves. I began taking Dilantin - or as I referred to it for quite a long time my "demon pill", cause it made me feel as though a demon was ripping through me. My body eventually adjusted and the seizures stopped.

My seizures - I call them surges. They start at the base of my head and surge through my brain and make me dizzy and black out, on a rare occasion totally pass out. (rare) Afterward I usually vomit and get an intense headache and become completely exhausted. The majority of the time they go unnoticed by those around me either because they are so brief or because I am not in a position to fall over. Like sitting or laying down... I had my first seizure in 2 1/2 years a couple weeks ago while on an overnight trip to Wendover. I was laying down so those around me had NO idea till I swallowed my pride and explained why I was puking and couldn't get out of bed. I did however get to ride in the back seat of my own car in Red Hawt's lap. That part was nice.

A seizure, after having the disorders controlled by medication and not experiencing them in so long was like a skeleton opening the closet door it was shoved in. I don't typically talk very openly about my disorder since I am so proud, stubborn and independent. I get scared that people will treat me differently. I get scared that my life will change. My own insecurities are under a magnifying glass when it comes to this condition of mine.

Well after blood tests and scans and EEG's and going to the VA so often I felt I should be on the payroll, they have discovered something new. NEW = SCARY There is "something" on my brain. It's small, smaller than a dime but could be the cause of my condition, there is no depth to it so they are calling it a scar. I get to start taking yet another new pill and be evaluated more than I have been in the past. More blood tests, more scans... but guess what. I am grateful!

I once cursed the VA - every now and again I still curse the parking issues - but I am so blessed to be able to have access to FREE healthcare! I am especially blessed to have had my testing move so quickly, my doctor must have a special pair of scissors to cut through the red tape. We are so fortunate to live in a day and age that we have so much medical technology!

Gratitudes...

Each morning and night I have been trying to find 10 different gratitudes. I try to find new ones each time but sometimes they recycle. I try to find the little things not the big obvious ones. Like of course I am incredibly grateful for my children and my family and my amazing friends, of course I am grateful for my home and job and cars and all the obvious things but I am also incredibly grateful for a lot of little things. Here are the top 10 that tend to recycle...

1. Heated Seats

2. Seeing my Grandma in my dreams and occasionally in the mirror (I look A LOT like her)

3. Medical technology/ VA healthcare

4. Loose jeans - even though I am spending too much $ on them

5. Sweet kisses from Red Hawt

6. Laughter

7. Del Taco strawberry shakes

8. A comfy bed

9. My generosity

10. Seeing the Wasatch Mountains every day.

A houses we will hunt...

and hunt and hunt... I have been looking at houses for a month and have really only fallen in love with one, and I am the back up offer... :(

I like house hunting for many different reasons... I enjoy my realtor, he is hilarious and we have a really great time when we are together! I like to see the different "good things" about each home... I just can't seem to find one for ME! It makes me sad and a little frustrated. So a hunting we will go!!

So not the most exciting blog on the block, but hey I blogged!

Red Hawt VIP and all that Jazz

1st Row

VIP

Red HAWT!

Last night was SO fun!!! It was just... rad! I am lucky enough to be "the best hook up" around according to Red Hawt... lol I got Section 18 (or was it 19) ROW 1 VIP tickets to the Jazz game last night! So of course I had to ask the hawtest guy I know to go with me. He said yes! (yay!!!)

We enjoyed a catered dinner in the VIP lounge ... Entered the arena on the ground level and took our seats! HOLY DUMP we could actually hear the players talking!

(this is warm up of course)

We sat back and watched the Jazz STOMP the Memphis whatever they were! There was a super cute little girl to my left who told me her name is Lilly and she cheered for every basket made! To my right... Mr Hawtness! He had to brag and send a photo to all his friends and put on his "where is waldo" red and white striped beanie so his friends could see him on TV. (not sure if anyone actually did though) At 1/2 time he taught me to read the score card. He's handy like that. We had a lot of fun!!!

Warm Ears!

Christmas isn't the most abundant holiday I experience through the year. I don't get many gifts that I don't pay for at all as a matter of fact. I have come to resent this as well as truly enjoy it. I am a very giving and generous person so sometimes it's a little hurtful that the people I am so generous too don't think of me at Christmas, but on the same token, I get what I want.

This morning I came into work to find a Christmas box on my desk. I was pleasantly surprised since all the girls had already exchanged gifts. This one wasn't from an office girl, it was from Jon, aka Rambo maintenance man extraodinaire! I opened the box to find the very hand band I have been looking for!!! Thanks to Jon I will have super warm ears and be really cute at the same time! Jon Murray you rock!!!

YAY!!!!

Stars on the Wall

I placed new stars on my wall this year for

Tio Bruno... the only mexican uncle that ever let me feel part of the mexican family. He fought and lost a harsh battle with cancer and I miss him!

Tom Gadberry.... I don't understand why you left in the middle of a song. You are deeply missed and my world will never be the same. There isn't a minute in the day that I don't miss My Sweet Tom and my Ornery Tom. I wish with my heart of hearts that you could have seen the great worth you held within. I am truly sorry it took so long to hang your star, but in all honesty none were good enough to represent you and the love I carried for you. There is a star on my wall for you now and a star on my neck for extra reminding! I diligently pray that you find peace in your rest that you could never grasp in your life.

Cy McKell... my great-uncle Cy was one of the greatest story tellers the world ever knew. His great appreciation for people and a good laugh were easily read in him. He was hit by a car driven by his neighbor. His death has brought me to get to know Aunt Betty better and I love that.

Maj Caraveo... thank you for the laughs... a terrorist in our own uniform took your life along with several other heroes! He was a coward.

Ed Messing... Wow what a great man! My Erin-Mom's dad passed away the day after Thanksgiving. He was an example to all he met and this world is a better place because he was here. He lost his brave battle with cancer and we all miss him dearly.

May you all rest in peace and know how you touched my life.