~Sharon ~ Desirae ~ Jonny~

Friday, February 19, 2010

The Help

I love to read a good book!!! I rarely read one that helps me realize the blessed circumstances I live in vs. those in different times and places. This novel is a page turner for sure. But this blog is not meant to read as a book review. This novel really made me think about things that I never really thought of the way I did after I read this.
In the late 1960's and early 1970's I wasn't even thought of. My mother still lived in her sheltered white suburban home in Palmdale California, with her Dentist daddy from Utah and her white society mother from Chicago IL. She was a petite brunette, pretty enough to make any man turn when she walked by.
My father a tall 6'4" blond hair, blue eyed all-star athlete in high school lived in his white home with his angelic mother from Blanding UT and his southern daddy from Virginia.
Both LDS households, both upper middle class, well educated and oppurtunities abundant.
In the late 1960's and early 1970's on the other side of the sheltered world my parents lived people were fighting for equality, and people were fighting tooth and nail to keep them in the place their ignorant minds felt these people with their dark colored skin felt they belonged. They claimed seperate but equal, but this claim fooled nobody. "Colored" people got whatever bone was thrown to them by white people. "Colored" people could go to college if they could afford it and have a degree just to work for a white family and shine their silver, and have to use a seperate but far from equal toilet in the cold garage or "out back". They would be beat if they used the wrong bathroom or sat at a lunch counter. A young colored girl's hopes could only reach as far as a "nice" white family to work for instead of one that made her bleach her hands instead of soap before touching their belongings. Ladies that would raise these white children and love them just to them torn from them later and have them call them "Nigger" as adults. Why? Because their skin was darker. They were differnt. Inferior. Less.
Can you only imagine? Have you ever stopped to imagine?
This really wasn't that long ago. 2 of my favorite men on earth are David Brown and Kevin Akins. They are both black men. 1 was born in 1969 and the other in 1970. What were their parents fighting for? Were they fighting to keep food on the table? Were they fighting to make sure their sons would be equal to the son's of the white men they worked for?
As the mom of 2 amazingly gorgeous children whose fathers are black I cannot imagine the racism and prejudiced against someone for having a different color skin. I look at my children an cannot imagine anyone on this earth not seeing that they are simply that, children. Children that are loved just as their own. My children have caramel colored skin, curious brown eyes, and curly brown hair. They are tall, my daughter like her dad's family my son like my dad's family. My heritage is not as liberal as my own soul on this issue. On both my mother's side as my father's side I have deep southern roots. But this is not something I can wrap my brain around. I cannot fathom treating someone different because they are different. Diversity is such a beautiful gift, why are peple so afraid of it?
Imagine each race using a different restroom in today's society. How absord would that be?

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Food Please!!!

This has to be the worst practical joke ever! WHO in their right mind makes anorexia a side effect to a medication!?!?!? At first as Red and I were looking up the side effects to all my medications I was thinking SWEET! Maybe I will finally be thin for once in my stinkin's life!!! As a woman who loves to cook and equally or moreso loves to eat, this is absolutely torturous! I can't eat. It's baffling to me how I can't even drink a Pepsi!! I could typically LIVE on Pepsi!! But it taste funny. Not everything taste different, but soda does, anything with carbonation taste really quite funny. Food tastes blah! I have no interest in it. Not just no appetite, but the thought is nauseating! I can't bring myself to sit down in front of a meal! In the past 3 days I have eaten less than my son eats in 1 meal. I am at my wits end.

I need to figure what I can possibly do to get some food in me!

I am going to study my food for healing book tonight! But seriously this BITES!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

10 paths I have luckily crossed

As I was driving to work today I thought of my sister-in-law and how blessed I my brother picked Candace to marry. So I decided to that tonight I was going to pick 10 people that came into my life that have truly blessed and enriched my existence. Now the gratitudes exercise is to "find" 10 things that I am grateful for, so it can't be the obvious people that inherit gratitude like my family that are born into my love and admiration for them, but people that have actually come into my life by other means.

Candace Combs Miller - Of all the women in the Denver metro area, I am eternally grateful he chose Candace! She is by far the most supportive, fun, accepting people on the face of the earth. I can talk to her about anything and with out a doubt I know she will still love me! Candace also has some seriously extraordinary hugging skills! When she hugs me I feel the pure genuine affection of the hug. She give the best hugs ever!

Sister Marsha Rawlin - Sister Rawlin was my Young Women's leader in Yorba Linda CA. She had a genuine love and concern for my well being and happiness. I could confide in her more than I could in anyone else. Not to cry the poor poor pitiful Sharon song but birthdays like many things sucked growing up. My freshman year of high school I was working 30 hours a week after school to help put food on the table. Sister Rawlin through a surprise party for me with some of the girls from school and church. We had cake and gifts and the whole shebang! I don't remember details but her generosity to try to make my birthday special when my own mom forgot about it meant the world to me, and will never be forgotten!

Blanca Sargent - I know obvious, but how do I leave her out? I have an undying love, admiration, respect and affection for Blanca and her sisters Esy and Lillia! (see that way I got to put 3 in 1! I am no fool!) These three sisters are a blessing to me! I know that I could pick up the phone or email anyone of them and they would be there for me, no doubt about it!

Shanna Kocherhans - Talk about a friend in the nick of time!!! When I was at lowest in my life Shanna was there to pick me up and make sure I landed back on my feet. She is just a BLAST! I could never imagine living in Utah without her! We have so much fun together and I am so honored to call her friend!

Brookie Roden Sibley & Katie Lee Brooks - (my bitches) Where do I start? I had to go on an Army exercise I did not want to go on! We had to go to a small po-dunk base in Wisconsin for a bio-chemical exercise and I was not excited! I had to miss Jonny's 1st day of kindergarten and I was ... mad! I met some of my favorite people ever on that trip and Brookie & Katie are 2 them! I met Katie first we wanted to find the shopette (Army term for gas station) and get some beer, well we ended up hooking up with Brookie who knew where the bar was!! They are now 2 of my favorite people! We just click! We can sit back and drink a beer or go shopping and grab a bite, or sit snuggled on the sofa crying on each other's shoulders! They are my friends and for that I am forever grateful for even if I did miss Jonny's 1st day of school!

Red - (no you may not know his real name yet) I know, I know, I just met him like 3 months ago, but hear me out here! I am grateful for him cause he makes me laugh! I have fun! I can put my worries behind me and just enjoy myself! I laugh so hard when we hang out that I get an ab work out!! It's insane! Also, (something I haven't even blogged about) he got me to the hospital! He didn't let me drive home when I was staggering to my car after my seizure, he took me to the hospital and took care of me. I can honestly see previous guys I have "dated" letting me drive home or just dropping me at the ER door. Red took me in, Red stayed with me and waited with me and talked to my family on the phone. I have a friend if nothing else, and to me that is ten million times more valuable than anything else!

Milk Dud Head and Blingy K - they are my people! Do I need to say a whole lot more than that? My "big brothas" I love them! No doubt about it, unconditionally, I love them and they love me!

I bunched a few together. And this has turned into a novel. You get the drift! I could list million people I am sure. I am blessed!!! Totally completely blessed!


Friday, February 5, 2010

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL!?!?!?!?

(gotta get the pictures from Red - they'll follow shortly)

Red and I went to Miami and had a crazy awesome blast!!! If I were to give the play-by-play account of my trip it would be a novel here so I am going to sum up the highlights!

Extraordinary Napping Skills - I literally can nap almost anywhere!!! I sleep exceptionally well on airplanes. I also wake startled to abrupt landings and captains voices on the intercom. Red laughs at this, and I ended up waking to him staring at me waiting for it cause he thought it to be so funny!

Sun Shine - It was brief but I saw it! I even got to wear flip flops for a little bit!!!

Hotel - Embassy Suites ROCKS! It was like a Spanish Hacienda and we had a little balcony with a great view of the freeway off ramp! But it was a 2 room suite and when we checked in we saw a white guy with PRO - picture of a football- BOWL shaved into his head!

Ali - Ok, I am sure I am spelling this wrong! But he was a middle Eastern man driving our cab on the first night out! We totally put on a show for him, and he ate it up! Best cab driver ever I swear by it!!!

Irish Pubs and Toasts! - We went off the beaten path! Heck we are off the wall, so it kind of makes sense right?

Shakey Hands - Not the best higlight but an important one. I am not sure why my hands shook like I had parkinsons disease on Sunday morning when we woke up at 1. (11 our time) Once I took my medication they settled down within 30 minutes.

VIP Tailgate Party and Corn in the Hole! - We got passes to this party that served free food and drinks and had music and games and stuff. I beat Red at Corn in the Hole. I am not sure what the game is really called but that's what they called it in Ohio on his mission. You through a bean bag at a board with a hole in it. I WON!

National Anthem - I just may be the biggest National Anthem sap on earth but they rocked it! One of my biggest irritations is when people talk and laugh and stuff during it. I still stand at the position of attention and instead of a salute I put my hand on my heart. Red sang with whoever was singing, then 3 fighter jets flew over head and I got tingles down my spine! I was so proud in that moment to be an American!

FOOTBALL!!! - It was a great game! We had great seats! SO MUCH FUN!

Great Guy - I am really dating a great guy. Now for all you out there that are wondering, NO, it is not serious, YES, I am completely 100% okay with that! He looks after me in his own way. He maked sure I ate breakfast and medication each morning, he knew where the VA was in relation to our hotel, he ushers me through crowds, when they are thick crowds he takes my hand and bull dozes through, when it's slippery he takes my hand to make sure I don't fall, he makes sure I am comfortable and safe when I am with him. He makes me laugh and lets me be me. It's a regreshing change!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Jonny and His Brain

(I wish I had a picture. I will have to go take one)

Tuesday night we as a family went to the Gateway mall here in Salt Lake City. Desirae got some gift certificates for Christmas and there were Redline sales at Hollister and Abercrombie. Now anyone with a teenage daughter knows the importance of a redline sale alone then you add the names of Hollister and Abercrombie and the stakes are raised significantly! Jonny also needed new shoes for the sake of my nose. Anyone with a young boy can appreciate this.

As a working mom I didn't get home till after 6 which put us at the mall close to 7:15 or so. First stop was for mom! Trade Secret for a new big round brush and BioSilk! Of course the extras were added on, a new light pink nail polish and travel sized shampoo and conditioner!

Next stop for mom's nose... errr I mean for Jon... Foot Locker! New Pumas and socks for Jonny! YAY! and pay no attention to the new white Nike shocks in mom's size! Pay no attention! :)

Next stop Hollister! (ok, am I getting old?? This store's lighting is really dim and it's smell of bad men's cologne is overwhelming and the music is loud and all the workers look like they just walked off the beach and... the clothes look sloppy...) Desi picked out her clothes and and got some really great deals! Good ole red line sales!!

Next stop was divided! We had limited time, and mom was running low on energy and patience so Des headed toward Abercrombie and Jonny and I headed toward Ben's cookies. (now Kodiak Cakes and Cookies but I refuse to change with the change) We picked out our bakers 1/2 dozen and grabbed 3 hot chocolates to sip on while we walked in the crisp cold night through the out door mall.

I basque in the presncce of my son and his brain, especially at a time in my life when I feel like my brain is not working properly (thanks seizure and vertigo disorders I hate you!) He comes up with the most unique and profound topics of discussion that just blow me away. So this few minutes I got to steal away alone with my boy were precious to me. As we were walking toward Abercrombie to meet up with Desirae the shopping goddess we walked passed the store Express and we took note of the manikins in the store that only had 1/2 their heads. Our conversation from there lifted my spirits and reminded me of the simple joy of being Jonny's mom. It went something like this:

Jonny: MOM! They cut their brains out!!!
Mom: Where??
Jonny: There look in that store! We need to stay away from that store forever! I don't want my brains cut out!
Mom: Oh that is a good idea son! We like having our brains in our heads huh?
Jonny: Shyeah! That's why I have all this hair, to protect my brain!
Mom: Aaahhh So you have a plan huh?
Jonny: Exactly! I don't want to look like that mom! That's scary!
Mom: I love you Jon!
Jonny: I love you more!

Maybe you had to be there. Maybe you had to see the manikins! Maybe you have to understand the silly conversations Jonny and I have regardless, it was a blessing to me!

Monday, January 25, 2010

I slept for like 5 days!!!

Wednesday was a crazy intense day! It started at 8 am with dropping Jonny off at school! 9 am meetingm which was intense. I then went to my uncle's station to talk to him and get some counsel. He is a wise man. Then off to work, then off to therapy... then finally off to look at houses with Red, finally some fun!!! I started to get dizzy, but I am too stubborn to say anything of course! I remember stopping occasionally and holding a wall and breathing through the light headed moments. I remember thinking "dang it all, I hope I don't have a seizure" I remember thinking how embarrassed I would be if I had a seizure in front of Red!

We were looking at the last house of the day. The power was not on so Red grabbed a flash light. It was cold! I don't remember much about the house. I think it had would floors upstairs which I really like! I had to stop in the hall and breath through a dizzy spell for a few minutes. I think Red was concerned, but I don't remember. We left the house, and I vaguely remember him asking if I could just breath through it and not have a seizure and me answering "No, I will more than likely have a seizure in the next 24 hours" I don't remember much after that except coming to after the "episode" and my right arm was shaking. We got back to Red's office and I couldn't walk straight. He insisted on driving me somewhere or calling someone to come get me. I am really quite stubborn but finally admitted I needed to go to the hospital so he took me to the VA. The VA regulated my Migraine and Dilantin levels, which very well could have prevented another horrible seizure which could have been detrimental to my life. I slept for days while my body healed. I am still a little dizzy and a little tired. I still sleep a lot and I am still worn out. But I am alive and functioning! I have Red and the VA to thank for that! I am grateful!

Monday, January 18, 2010

Can You Pencil Me In??


Tuesday: Work in the office 9-4:30

Tuesday: Get nails done right after work

Tuesday: Date with Dave the pilot 7:00


Wednesday: Work in office 9-1

Wednesday: Meet accountants to tie up year end 12:00

Wednesday: Individual therapy Appointment VA 2:00

Wednesday: House hunting with Red 3:30

Wednesday: PACK! PACK!


Thursday: Work in office 9-3

Thursday: Leave for Denver 6:05 (get to airport by 4:30)

Thursday: DENVER!!!!


Friday: Aquarium in Denver with Ayla, Ronin and Jonny

Friday: Meet with Kenyton talk about .... CLOSURE!

Friday: Leave for Steamboat


Saturday: Family, Snowmobiling (?), Ronin's birthday party!!! wake up till bed time


Sunday: Head back to Denver to catch my flight back to SLC


Monday: Group therapy 10-12

Monday: Work in office 1-4

Monday: Jazz vs Suns with Shanna and the kids 7:00


Tuesday -Thursday WORK


Friday: Jazz game 7pm
Saturday: Leave for Miami for Pro Bowl game 7:05 am!
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH


2 weeks, 4 cities, 3 guys... Oh my goodness!! What was I thinking? Can we pencil in a nap for me somewhere in there?!?!?